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And believe me, there’s nothing subservient about my Thai wife!We’ve been on the receiving end of intellectual snobbery, by highly educated people who think that graduates of American universities have cornered the market on knowledge, and treat my wife – who has a Masters degree in environmental studies and is a very successful journalist and writer – like a poor uneducated immigrant who needs to be taught even the simplest of concepts.Asian men often fit my physical type and tend to fall into the same professional, educational and cultural demographic I do, so I've overwhelmingly dated Asian men (and native men, though there are far fewer in NYC than there are Asian men).Also, I can confirm that the racist penis stereotype is 1,000% bullshit.One thing my well-meaning friend insisted on was that all those Asian women who work in restaurants and who have American names on their nametags do so because their identities have been taken from them so that they can be trafficked.In fact, having an American name – especially if you are Asian and work with the public – is quite common, and done so simply because Americans usually can’t pronounce their native names.Instead, they characterize it as “yellow fever” and accuse people like me of having some sort of fetish, think that we’re looking for an easy way out, that we’ve taken mail-order brides, or that it’s just “because we couldn’t get a white woman.” Or worse, they assume the Asian woman is a victim and is being taken advantage of. Or contrarily, it means that she is taking advantage of him for a green card.
We locked them up in forced camps right here in the United States, and even though we were at war with the Japanese, we tended to paint all Asians with the same brush.There was a sense that I had sinned by leaving a “good Christian woman” and taking up with a heathen. “If you believe in an afterlife, why not believe in a before-life?” A reasonable question, especially from a Buddhist who believes in reincarnation.When people see a white man walking arm in arm with a Thai woman, there is all too often an incredibly offensive assumption that they met in a go-go bar and that she was a prostitute.
Yes, like every big city in the world, Bangkok does have a red light district, but for the most part Thai culture is conservative and very spiritual.In the lily-white fundamentalist church where I was brought up, there were no Asians. She comes from a Buddhist country and celebrates a religion they don’t understand and don’t want to.