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Keying into the other person’s preferred communication style can also be helpful in meeting them where they are and having a productive conversation.3. If there’s any tension between you and your “monster,” you may need to confront the issue head on, in spite of your discomfort.Have a conversation to get to the root of the issue and move beyond it once and for all.What assumptions are you making about them and your relationship? In his book, , Gay Hendricks describes the “zone of genius” as the place where your greatest passion and your innate gifts meet. What unique power and talents do you bring to the table?Your zone isn’t just about what you’re decent, good, or even excellent at… Focus on those strengths — rather than fixating on your perceived weaknesses — and tap into your inner rock star.Feeling misunderstood or a sense of powerlessness can rear its ugly head when someone else unapologetically takes charge of a situation (as I experienced in college in the example above).What stories are you telling yourself about this person?
It won’t always be easy, but the more you do it, the more comfortable you’ll become with sharing your thoughts and insights.You may find that underneath their scary exterior, there’s a person. Recognize your similarities rather than focusing on your perceived differences.Also, realize that even the most challenging people are struggling with their own insecurities (which may manifest as aggressiveness or insensitivity).Is there an underlying fear or limiting belief about yourself that’s actually at play?
This might be a belief that no one cares about what you have to say, which might affect how you interact with those who speak up seemingly without fear.As a staunch introvert, loud, aggressive, and/or insensitive people always intimidated me (and sometimes they still do). When I to engage them, I’d often lose my train of thought and fumble through my words or simply fade into the background, letting those around me dominate the conversation.