Playing cat and mouse dating
And as we processed this, we started to push against and ask questions.Are we trying to fit into certain roles, or do we need to create roles that fit us?I felt like I had to do everything naturally, make it look easy, and yet at the same time felt like I was never enough. I mean, I did the dishes before I got married, why did all of a sudden marriage say: "Now dishes is womanly work"?And I saw what was happening to our marriage, I felt like there were all these unnecessary burdens on us. And then I saw that Jonalyn was really good and had some great gifts in things that I wasn't so good at, and I began to wonder why is she not allowed to be good at the things she's good at?And so, in our romance and in our marriage I made sure my role was met as best as I could, and what was my role? Number three - don't have any long term career goals where you're gonna have to uproot your husband to go move where you want to go because you need to stop your career at a moment’s notice if you need to raise your children.
You can see how living as "cat and mouse" hurts our romance because from the very beginning it sets us up to be competitors.
These are the questions from the “cat and mouse” game of dating. Well, because that’s what it looks like, you know, cat and mouse - predator and prey.
Like in the old cartoon I used to watch, Tom and Jerry, when the cat is chasing the mouse, and the mouse is always trying to devise ways to beat up on the cat.
If you don't know if she has a boyfriend then ask her if she has a boyfriend. Test the waters by sitting close to her, "accidentally" brushing her arm with yours, touching her shoulder or lower back when you talk to her, things like that.
Usually, but not always, a guy has a relatively small window to make a move with a girl before she loses interest in a guy.
And these were things not just modelled or encouraged by people who explained scripture to me, these were modelled by generations of my family back. The women took care of the kids, stayed home and made things great at home. And I found, as I was trying to fill this role, I couldn't keep up.